Mean Not To

I remember being a child and being allowed more and more responsibility as I grew and learned.  It was a seemingly very natural process.  One particular event, however, has stuck with me for all of these years and has, perhaps inadvertently, helped shape who I am today.  Here’s the story…

I was at the dinner table and was filling my glass with some pop from a 2 liter bottle (probably Moon Mist as we were frugal Michiganders).  A 2 liter bottle is big enough for anybody, but especially for someone about the age of ten.  Since I liked to experiment with different ideas, I found it enjoyable to balance the entire bottle on top of one hand.  Holding the bottle with one hand, at the base of the bottle, I would then gently pour the contents into my glass.  I found success with this method several times before, but this was the first time my dad was able to witness it.  Sure enough, however, this time was not so successful.  I tipped the glass over and spilled the pop all over the table and the floor followed shortly thereafter. 

Now, I witnessed each member of the family spill things before.  My dad usually did a pretty good job at not overreacting at these types of accidents as he was well aware that accidents happen.  This time, however, he was not as forgiving.  My anticipation of forgiveness, given that I cleaned up the mess, was not that simple.  He didn’t really yell, but he made it quite clear that he was unhappy.  My excuse, predictably, was with the response, “I didn’t mean to.”  I did in fact not mean to spill the pop.  My goal was simply to fill my glass, just in an enjoyable way.  To that, his response has remained forever prophetic, “Yeah, but you need to mean not to.”  I understood the basic message then, but the full ramifications of that simple event continue to affect my life.

The message is simple.  Think things through before you act.  Be calculated in the choices you make.  Mean not to do harm. 

Today, I find myself asking myself the question, “What do I mean to do in life?” I ask this question all the time and I do my best to answer it, every day.  Sometimes I know what I mean to do, but other times I simply know that I don’t want to make things worse.  I don’t want to do harm.  If that’s true, then I need to mean not to harm. 

A simple example is transportation to work.  The goal is to get to work…preferably on time.  Well how should we get there?  Most people drive a car or truck, some people ride a bus or train and others walk or ride a bike.  While I do believe that there is more than one right answer, there are definite ramifications that result from the different methods.  Personally, I choose to ride a bike.  If public transportation were an option in this town, I’d probably use it on the inclement weather days.  Since it’s not an option, I wear a rain jacket, if necessary, on my 5 mile trip to work.  The question that needs to be answered, of course, is why?

First of all, one gallon of burned gasoline pollutes about 20 pounds of CO2 into the delicate atmosphere.  One average mature tree can absorb 50 pounds of CO2 per year.  It doesn’t take long to figure out this equation.  If I burn more than “my share” of fuel, then I’ll be doing more harm to those who live in this same environment.  By biking, I’m making a statement that my convenience is not worth more than the livelihood of the creatures that share this planet.  There are 2 other main reasons for this decision.  Ten miles of biking a day is a great weight management technique.  I’m healthier and more active in all aspects of life and I think my biking habit helps this to occur.  Also, surprise, I’m a bit of a cheapskate.  I save considerable amount of money by not using or owning another vehicle.  Not only is gas expensive, but the insurance, maintenance and purchase price add up. 

I could say, like many do, “Oops, I didn’t mean to pollute the environment,” but all I can hear is my dad saying, “Yeah, but you need to mean not to.” 

I think the same attitude can be applied to many things in life, such as…

"I didn’t mean to get overweight.

I didn’t mean to spend all of my money.

I didn’t mean to ignore the important people in my life.

I didn’t mean to let life go by without enjoying it.

I didn’t mean to hurt the environment."

And those words that were handed down from my dad to me, his dad to him, and so on can be heard…

“Yeah, but you need to mean not to.”